Perseverance or Insanity?

I’m sure you’ve all heard this saying, right? “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”

But wait a minute…that’s perseverance, isn’t it? Frankly, I’ve been using so many precious resources of time, money, and energy for decades trying to publish a novel—always failing, but expecting a different result next time—that this is important for me to consider.

As I attempted without success to find out the author of the quote, I came across a blog by therapist Ryan Howes, blasting this pithy little proverb: “Repeating the same constructive behavior over and over, hoping (one day) for a positive result is difficult but virtuous. It's the effort made by eating oatmeal every morning, brushing your teeth after every meal and daily journaling. It's weekly therapy, consistent workouts and taking time for spirituality. It's Rudy trying over and over to get into Notre Dame. Or Mother Theresa tirelessly serving the poor.”

Howes does admit there is perseverance (above) and something destructive called perseveration—like repeating useless actions in an obsessive-compulsive disorder, or repeating unhelpful behavior patterns. He says it’s an important distinction to make, because “perseverance is a strong, valuable quality. Perseveration is a troubling issue needing clinical attention.”

So…have I been strong and virtuous through the years? Or do I need help from a good psychiatrist? And help for what? To keep me striving on toward my goal—or to help me stop an unconstructive and often stressful drain on my resources?

I’ve given this a lot of thought, particularly over the last year, and I’ve made a huge decision. One that I hope everyone will support me in. I’ll let you know about that decision next time.

That Blasted Proverbs 31 Woman!

You’ve heard of the “Proverbs 31 woman,” right?

I’m sure you’ve at least heard the line, “Her children arise and call her blessed.” She’s sort of the Old Testament ideal of the perfect wife. Proverbs 31 (starting in verse 10) describes this great lady in detail. Many fine Christian women set great store by her and want to be like her—which is wonderful.

For many years, I positively despised her. If she had been real, I would have liked to get my hands on her, and not to give her a hug.

My bad attitude started in the early days of my marriage, which weren’t exactly ideal. Let’s just say we had a lot of adjusting to do. As a part of our adjustment, we went to a marriage conference. The leader asked us to write down some concrete things we would like our spouse to be or do—I can’t remember exactly how he worded the assignment. I’ve been married a LONG time. But I do remember that my dear hubby wrote down one line. “All I want is for you to be the Proverbs 31 woman.”

That’s all??!!

I wanted to snap back at him that all I wanted was for him to behave exactly like Jesus. But I bit that one back. The Proverbs 31 woman would never be so snarky.

In case you haven’t read Proverbs 31 lately, let me give you just a synopsis of this woman that I was supposed to be like. She gets up not just early, but while it’s still night—STILL NIGHT!—to start working. Her house is in perfect order. She spins and sews and makes beautiful coverings for the beds. She’s great at business—buys and sells fields for profit and sells things she makes—so she can take care of her family and give to the poor. Her family isn’t afraid of hard times, because she takes care of them. And of course, her children arise and call her blessed, and her husband praises her to everyone he meets.

For about two years after that, I couldn’t escape hearing about that dratted woman. The preacher seemed to preach about her every other week. I would turn on the car radio and the Christian family show would be talking about her, urging women to be like her. Daily devotionals, Sunday School lessons, conversations with other women at church…you get the idea.

For a woman who felt like a failure at this whole marriage and family business, I have to tell you, those messages could be pretty depressing. Not only did my children not call me blessed—I was facing infertility and couldn’t even manage to have children. And my husband was not exactly praising me in the streets.

Years went by. I stopped hearing so much about that blasted woman, for some reason, and stopped worrying about living up to her. Life became pretty full and hectic, anyway. We moved back to my hometown and I was so stressed and unhappy with my new job that I decided to get my master’s degree and become a librarian. My parents became elderly and my dad developed dementia and I spent a lot of time taking care of them. I taught an extra class at the college to get money to help with that, too. For my sanity, I took up quilting and beading and knitting, and even tried selling a bit of it. 

Through every bit of this, my hubby was supportive and sweet, a real shoulder to lean on. So I became sweeter, kinder, more respectful to him.

And one day, a few weeks ago, he said something that nearly made me fall over. He reminded me of the time he wrote down that he wanted me to be the Proverbs 31 woman, and then he said, “That’s what you are.”

For a moment, I thought he was delusional. But he had brought it up in the context of me caring for my parents, for my family. I got to thinking about that dratted woman again, and wondered if I had misjudged her. I thought about her making coverings for the bed and beautiful clothing for her family. So she had the same urges to quilt and knit and sew that I do! And that woman loved her family and would do anything to take care of them, which is always my first priority after serving God. We’re both career women mainly to be able to help our families, plus friends and acquaintances who might be having a hard time.

My attempts at selling (books or crafts) haven’t been as successful as hers, at least not yet. And this getting up while it’s still dark thing—well, we may just have to let that one go. I’ll never be as perfect as her. But my heart longs for the same things, and I’m striving toward the same goals.

Fortunately for me, my hubby seems to think that’s enough.

And a Robin to Write It?

I caught a brief snippet of Alistair Begg's Truth for Life the other day, but got a very profound message--one that he really didn't even intend--in just a couple of sentences.

I turned on the radio in my car and caught him in mid message, but I believe Begg was talking about the authority of the Bible, and the fact that Scripture is inspired by the Holy Spirit. He explained what this did NOT mean--that God didn't choose random people and knock them into a trance and dictate the Scriptures to them. Rather, he said, when God saw that He was going to need something like the book of Romans, which was written by Paul, He planned and made a Paul. A man with certain personality traits and life experiences and abilities which are part of his writing.

As a writer, of course, I took that idea and ran with it.

I certainly don't claim that my writing is Holy Spirit-inspired--not in the sense that Scripture is. But I did start to wonder...what if God did want something like my novels to be written? What if He had a plan for those stories, to touch someone's heart and life in a certain way? So He planned and made a Robin to write them.

I love this idea! It turns everything around for me. So often I say "my writing," and I view it as "my dream." There have been so many obstacles that I often feel myself in an adversarial position with God--begging Him to bless it or allow me to do it. But what if...

He planned that writing? He wanted it done? And it's my job to write it.

A little scary. But also an awesome and cheering thought. If He has a purpose for it and wants it to reach certain people, then it will reach them. I just have to pick up the quill...or tap on the keys.

A Winner and a Nifty Prize Give-Away

After a lot of incredible suggestions from friends, readers, and authors, I've settled on a new name for Glass Houses. And the winner is...Summer's Winter, suggested by the lovely and talented Ane Mulligan.

I love this title on so many levels. In my story, my protagonist is obsessed with a character in a book and movie series, and the character's name is Danny Summer. The series has temporarily "died" (as in winter) when the story begins, but will be resurrected. And the crisis in the life of Jamie, the actor who plays Danny Summer, happens in winter. I hope everyone else will be drawn to the title as I was! Thanks again to everyone, especially Ane.

On another subject, there's a great Christian book marketing effort out there, called the John 3:16 Marketing Network. I'm passing along info about a give-away they're hosting.

The John 3:16 Marketing Network is hosting their August Book Launch by giving away a Kindle, $25 Amazon gift card and a $10 Starbucks card. If you would like to enter, go to http://bit.ly/Christian_Books  and look for the Rafflecopter raffle. While there, please check out the two great books being showcased -- Children of Dreams, a creative nonfiction memoir, and Keeper of Reign, a YA adventure fantasy. Both books promote a Christian worldview. You don’t have to buy an ebook to enter, but for $1.98 cents, if you buy both books, you get 20 chances/entries  to win one of the prizes.

Thanks! Hope you win! 

Help Me Choose a Name!

I need a new name for my novel, Glass Houses. The name doesn't fit as well as it used to--plus I see on Amazon that there's a teen vampire novel with that name now. Drat.

So I would really like some input from you folks. Here's a blurb about Glass Houses:

Glass Houses is a love story wrapped in a mystery, about a preacher's daughter named Jeanine and her obsession with movie star Jamie. At the age of ten, Jeanine believed that God Himself whispered to her in a dark movie theater and promised that the young star would someday be a part of her life. So began an eleven-year test of faith as Jeanine waited for her knight to arrive and rescue her from boring middle Georgia. And then, just as she’s graduating college and about to settle into the dreary nine-to-five life that stretches ahead of her, Jamie bursts into her life in an amazing way. He even seems to be falling for her, just as she’d dreamed. Trouble is, loving Jamie is nothing like she expected. Instead of carrying her away on a white charger, he’s hiding out in Georgia following the suspicious death of his former girlfriend. Jeanine longs to prove his innocence and get at the truth. Unless she can, Jamie’s dark secrets may shatter her faith—and her life.

The character Jamie plays--the one Jeanine is obsessed with--is named Danny Summer. The series of books and movies about Danny all have the name Summer in the title. There's a lot in the story about the Summer series, and how the author died and left the series hanging. The murder in my story ties into the lucrative revival of the Summer series, and who holds the copyright to be able to do that.

I also like the idea of summer symbolically. For me, summer was always about imagination and freedom. So I'm thinking I'd like to have the name "Summer" in the title. Here's what I'm leaning toward so far:

Saving Summer.

What do you think? Would a book with that title sound interesting? Suspenseful? Romantic?

Here are some other ideas I had:

Eternal Summer
Dying Summer
Eleven Years 'Til Summer
Waiting for Summer
If Summer Dies
Fatal Summer
Mortal Summer (or Immortal Summer?)
If Summer Comes
Killing Summer
The End of Summer
Summer's End

Okay, I think you get the picture. Do any of these strike you? Or do you have a brilliant idea I've overlooked?

Thanks so much! (And at least this post should show up on the first page of a Google search for "summer" today, if nothing else. I wonder if anyone else has ever used that word this much in one post.)

Big Reveal of Upcoming Book Cover: The Captive Maiden!

I'm home sick today, but I have dragged myself out of bed to do this blog, because today is the first day that author Melanie Dickerson is sharing the cover of her upcoming novel, The Captive Maiden. And I get to share it with my readers!

So, without more rambling from me, here it is...

Isn't it beautiful! As an amateur costumer, I adore the dress. It's perfect for Cinderella. Oh, did I mention this is a retelling of the Cinderella story, set in Medieval Europe?

Melanie is known for her inspirational and realistic retellings of classic fairy tales. She's done Sleeping Beauty, Beauty and the Beast, and Snow White to date. Cinderella is one of my favorites, so I'm particularly looking forward to this one. Here is Melanie's description of it:

Happily Ever After …Or Happily Nevermore?

Gisela’s childhood was filled with laughter and visits from nobles such as the duke and his young son. But since her father’s death, each day has been filled with nothing but servitude to her stepmother. So when Gisela learns the duke’s son, Valten---the boy she has daydreamed about for years---is throwing a ball in hopes of finding a wife, she vows to find a way to attend, even if it’s only for a taste of a life she’ll never have. To her surprise, she catches Valten’s eye. Though he is rough around the edges, Gisela finds Valten has completely captured her heart. But other forces are bent on keeping the two from falling further in love, putting Gisela in more danger than she ever imagined.

The release date for The Captive Maiden is October 22, but the book is available for pre-order now. All you followers of The Queen may remember Melanie as a faithful reader and commenter on this blog way before she was published (and a Christy Award finalist!). So I want to help her out by pre-ordering and hope you will, too.

I'm sure it's available other places, but here's where I bought mine at Amazon.

Godwinks and Giving Up

As I mentioned in the MLIW post, I’m not always up to date on the latest phrases or abbreviations.  While we were on vacation, my sister introduced me to the term “Godwink.” Turns out, I knew about Godwinks in my life, but I wasn’t familiar with the term.If you aren’t, either, here’s an example of one.

I was recently wandering through an antique mall/flea market with a friend of mine, and while she walked, she told me about a situation that sort of disturbed me. I could feel myself getting stressed and anxious, but it was one of those things that I could do absolutely nothing about. So I took a deep breath and prayed for God to take care of it and help me to let it go. In the prayer, I mentioned the verse that says a sparrow never falls outside of God’s will. He’s sovereign and watching over even tiny birds’ lives, I told myself. Suddenly that song, “His eye is on the sparrow” was running through my head.

And now for the Godwink.

At that precise moment, we moved to a new booth in the market, and the display table in front was covered with…sparrows! It was a line of products—figurines, paper products, keychains—featuring sparrows.

The term “Godwink” is credited to SQuire Rushnell. Here’s what he says on his webpage:

A godwink is what some people would call a coincidence, an answered prayer, or simply an experience where you'd say, "Wow, what are the odds of that!"…Think about when you were a kid and someone you loved gave you a little wink across the dining room table...That's what a godwink is too: a message of reassurance from above, directly to you, out of six billion people on the planet, saying "Hey kid...I'm thinking of you! Keep the faith! You're never alone."

I don’t know if the next instance really counts. It’s more common than the other example, a little more vague. All I know is that I’ve been really tired for weeks. Even after vacation—maybe even because of vacation!—I’ve felt a little weary and overwhelmed by the busyness of life. I can’t seem to find time to work on things that are important to me, and then the weariness makes me wonder why I even think of adding to an already overloaded schedule. Why do I continually fret over writing or other things that I think are meaningful, but are probably worthless to other people, or to God?

So while in this state, I passed a wayside pulpit, and instead of one of their cute puns, the newly-changed sign just said, “Never Give Up. Galatians 6:9.”

So of course I had to look up Galatians 6:9. Here’s the NIV version: “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

It didn’t make me feel less tired or more energetic, but the verse did help me keep plugging away for a few more days.

So how about you? Do you believe in “Godwinks”? Have you had one lately?